Monday, August 29, 2011

Horrified x 3

In this case, three's definitely not a charm:

One: I walked out of the grocery store on Friday--after a 45 minute shopping trip--and could not, for the life of me, figure out why so many people had been staring (I was a sure the looks were more I-can't-tell-if-she's-the-mother-or-if-she-adopted-that-darker-skinned-baby looks). As I pushed my cart toward the car, I looked down and saw that my shirt was unbuttoned to just above my navel.

Two: I had two hours on Saturday to myself. I took my time in getting dressed and was feeling much foxier than I normally do. I jumped in my car, rolled down all of the windows and blasted Bon Iver (again, feeling very of the moment). I stopped at the dry cleaners, where I was sure a twentysomething guy was checking me out as I got out of the car and headed into the building. When I walked back to my auto after picking up my clothes, the spring in my step fell away because I realized the following: a)my car had a two-inch layer of dirt stuck to it; b)there was a not-to-be-missed clunky child's car seat and a rusty tricycle peeking out of the rear window; c)I was wearing harem pants--in a town wear khakis and yoga pants are as crazy as it gets. It dawned on me that young guy was probably not checking me out or impressed by my fashionable choice of music. Instead, he was more likely mystified by the fact that the crotch to my pants was hanging between my knees and that a black car could turn brown with enough dirt.

Three: There was one day last week--only one--where I threw a dirty Sabine diaper in the trash can below the mailboxes in our apartment building (the bin is meant for unwanted mail, as in, paper only). It was an emergency as Sabine had taken off down the sidewalk without me and my arms were completely full. Suffice to say, there's now a sign on the bin that reads "No dirty diapers!!!" I'm not sure which is worse--the overuse of exclamation marks or the fact that I've been called out/publicly humiliated since I'm the only person in the building with a diaper-wearing child.

Image by Minga

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