Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Tuesday's Half Dozen

Yesterday Sabine spilled red wine on someone's white carpet, tore off her diaper and peed on our carpet, dumped another child's dinner onto the floor, ate a small rock, then drew all over a piece of living-room furniture with a ballpoint pen (she's well-supervised, but the kid is fast.). So I gave myself a wine-induced lobotomy and wondered the following:

1. Why wouldn't Evelyn Lozada (Basketball Wives) get veneers that actually fit in her mouth?

2. Why didn't the designers of Trader Joe's stores create wider aisles and bigger parking lots so that shopping there any day after 1 p.m. doesn't make me want to blow my brains out or run over the elderly with my shopping cart?

3. Why do people assume that if you're black, you don't need to wear sunscreen? Or that if you're white, you can't dance?

4. Why does New York have to beat California when it comes to, well, practically everything, i.e. same sex marriage?

5. How did Ice-T and Coco talk any television network into giving them a show and why did Coco have her brains removed and implanted in her buttocks?

6. Why can't Starbucks employees EVER get your name right on the cup (I'm not Laura, I'm Dora, Bora, Flora or Aurora)?

Image via Observando


Miss A said...

Love this list. I wanna steal it. And yes, kids are fast. That's how they learn, otherwise they'd be tied down all the time... Ha ha!

Flora said...

Seriously! When I say Flora, everyone thinks my name is Laura. Hello?! It's Flora...with an F. As in can you f-ing get it right? Now give me my coffee NOW. :)

Laura Mauk said...

Oh, Flora. Hilarious. So hilarious I could kiss you.

lozbot said...

I was begining to think it was the curse of an australian accent... I get the name problem all the time. My name is Laura also and I got Cara the other day which I'm still stratching my head about.

Laura Mauk said...

@lozbot, wow--how does one get Cara from Laura? They are not the sharpest...but as long as they make a great cup of coffee :)


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