My mom has the most beautiful green eyes and I grew up feeling less than because I had deep brown (black) eyes.I also wore green lenses for 5 years. I think all eyes are beautiful (though I prefer black and green). But yes Laura, in most cultures, lighter is better, in termes of everything, eye color, skin shades...White is seen as pure and black as evil.It takes strong parents to raise a happy child.I had a hard time identifying to my mom because we were not the same color. I was envious, and I also believed she did not understand me.
@Miss A, this KILLS me. I am officially terrified. But maybe hearing this from you will at least better prepare me. FYI, Sabine is by far the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I think I could use a little, or a lot, more self love...I always believed my mother didn't understand me either...and I never felt half as beautiful as she was.
and about the lighter is better topic, I know that lighter is usually a cultural preference and it's pervasive. but i feel obligated to challenge the ideology none the less because ultimately it's subjective. and i'm tired of people treating it as objective. and since being married to a black man and having a mixed daughter, i've seen the unjustified pain that it causes and when you really think about it, it makes no fucking sense. regardless of historical roots or tradition. so i feel obligated to at least ask the question. and maybe i will empower just one person. i think the sheep-like way of being or thinking is maddening and if i don't say anything than the mindless sheep just keep following the herder.
You know what? It took me moving to NY at age ten to start loving myself, loving my color, not in a black and proud type, more in a I'm just like everyone else and I love myself also.My mom made sure to get me to know my culture and that I'd be proud of the fact that I am black... except that I understood it better coming from my dad. What I wish now she'd share more was her own history, which I had to learn from her family. It was almost as if being a jew wasn't my concern, because I am mostly black. But being in New York, I came to realize that I was just another black and white sephardic jewish girl from the east village. No biggie. You will be fine, Sabine will be fine and if she does go through stages of rejecting any part of her, that will also not be forever, as you and I know so well. You are best suited to help her, because just like her, you are biracial.
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