Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Older, Not Old
I'm such a jerk. The other day, I took Sabine to the library and we bumped into a woman and her young son, who we see around the neighborhood a lot. Whenever I see her, we always chat. She's super down-to-earth, warm and funny. During one of our conversations, she told me that her husband was older than she was. About two days later, I saw her at the farmer's market with a man who was much, MUCH older. Like, maybe at least 35 years older. He was definitely older than my dad and had white hair and a white beard. The difference in their age struck me.
There were all these moms who knew each other and were chatting and socializing (The South Pasadena farmer's market can feel a little like high school, which I ditched as often as I could). She and the man weren't chatting with anyone. But they also looked like they were on their way out. I made a point to approach them anyway and say hi to her and introduce myself to him. I don't remember exactly what I said, but it was something like, "Oh so you're Michael's dad blah blah blah." They were polite but looked at me strangely and kind of muttered something and said they had to go. I felt DUMB. I should've just let them leave and said hello the next time I ran into them. But I was trying too hard to be nice or make them feel comfortable, or maybe, make me feel comfortable. I don't know. I actually walked away feeling good about myself...good, but awkward due to their hasty departure.
When I saw this woman today, she was with her son--and a really hot (not hotter than my husband, of course) guy, who looked older, but not that much older, than I am. He was tan, fit and sort of George Clooney-ish (but maybe in his mid-to-late forties). She made a point to introduce him to me immediately, saying, "This is my husband." Man, did I feel like a butthole. I've never left a building more quickly.
Here I am feeling offended if people see me and Sabine and assume that I adopted her or that I'm the nanny. I looked at this woman and the old man she was with and probably assumed that her father or her friend or her neighbor was her husband. I did the very thing that I was complaining about. My assumption was based on appearance (and a small amount of information) and I completely over compensated as a result. I over thought the entire situation and totally embarrassed myself. What else is new?