Slow, Barfy Weekend

Kadin made Top Ramen with vegetables and rosemary garlic toast for dinner on Saturday. We didn't leave the house from the time Sabine woke up from her nap, during which Kadin and I also slept for two and a half hours, until we went to bed.

It was a long week. We drove all over southern California, visiting cousins and a close friend's new baby girl. We also had three long, treacherous doctor's appointments that included lots of shots, drawn blood, ultrasounds, long waits at the Pharmacy and Sabine pulling down blinds and crapping her pants in two different doctor's offices, stinking everything up until the appointments were over.

The good news is that there's only one baby in my belly (genetically, it was likely I could have twins). And he or she is healthy and growing and looking like a perfect little kidney bean. It was wildly heart warming and overwhelming to lay on the examination table, with Sabine sitting next to me, and see that little bean and hear its heartbeat. I'm terrified that something could go wrong at any minute. I've been lucky enough to have Sabine. How could there be more luck, love and goodness out there for one person? I'm astounded at the wide open road ahead and the adventures and lessons it holds. The fragility of my family and the little lives I'm taking care of is both beautiful and frightening.

My sweet little sister came over on Friday afternoon and brought Ginger Ale, bitters, ice and the best bread in the entire world (the rosemary garlic loaf we ate for lunch and dinner today). She was tending to my debilitating nausea, for which my doctor finally gave me Zofran (so far, I'm not sure the side effects are worth only being able to take the edge off). My sister's thoughtfulness reminded me of my mom. I miss being taking care of in that mom kind of way, but feel head-to-toe grateful for my sisters.

Sabine has been an absolute peach through all of the nausea and ill feelings. So I pulled myself up by my boot straps and went with her and Kadin to the Aboretum on Sunday morning. Sabine chased peacocks and watched ducks, turtles and fish move around ponds covered with lily pads and golden leaves. It was idyllic and the fresh air was the best part of our weekend. We had to leave because I started feeling incredibly sick again. But I'm hoping that next week will be much brighter and less queasy.

I would say happy Monday, but that's somewhat of a paradox, and also the name of an ancient band I think.