I slept horribly on Friday night. I was incredibly hot and sweaty all night long, got up to use the restroom multiple times and pretty much lay awake from 3 a.m. to 6:15 a.m., when Sabine decided to wake up. Happy Saturday!
When I attempted to take a shower, Sabine decided to throw open the sliding glass door--letting all the warmth escape--and stare at me and ask questions the entire time. In my monthly attempt to shave my legs, which I can barely see or reach at this point, I discovered that my last razor was missing. I hollered to Kadin to ask if he'd seen it. He told me it had fallen in the trash and he emptied the trash without retrieving it. Really? Ugh.
When I asked for a towel, he brought me a damp one that had already been used. Normally, my dude-like self would not be bothered by this. But holy crap, I'd been awake half the night, woke up too early, took a shower with the door open, a pair of tiny eyes on me the whole time and with no razor. I just wanted a clean towel.
At the end of my exhausted, pregnant rope, I got dressed as quickly as I could, jumped in my car and disappeared to avoid cracking. I found a cafe where I bought a hot cup of coffee and a bagel. I marched them back to my car and ate them with the doors locked, my seat reclined, some loud Wilco playing and the right amount of drizzle falling on the windshield.
After that, I waddled in and out of stores and drove some more with no particular destination in mind until I figured I should go home again. Sabine was pretty fussy for the rest of the afternoon and evening. Kadin was unusually tired and quiet. I couldn't help but think we deserved a Saturday do-over.
But Sunday! Sunday was perfect. Sabine slept until seven. Kadin drove to get me a chorizo burrito just after we woke up. And when I tell you that this burrito tasted exactly like my grandma's used to, I say it as I thanked him, with tears in my eyes. I really did cry. It was THAT good. Plus, I'm super hormonal. After the burrito, I was sleepy again. So I went upstairs and dozed off and on for an hour and a half while Kadin stayed downstairs and Sabine played and happily went between the two of us. She wasn't fussy or grumpy like the day before which clearly speaks volumes to the fact that the kid should sleep until seven every day. Her refusal to do so is maddening.
Soon enough it was naptime. Tiny monster went down without a fight and Kadin and I watched a movie that we actually liked and took a short nap afterward. When we woke up, we took a walk in perfectly cool and sunny weather. The sky was so blue and you could actually see the craggy mountains against it. We hunted for bugs with Sabine, got smoothies and ran around the library grounds, which are storied and green with red brick walls and the most enormous Lord of the Rings-like tree that has knee-high roots you can climb and jump over.
I have this horrible habit, Kadin says, of not being able to see the forest through the trees. When something is crappy or not going well, it feels in the moment, like that's our life. But weekends like this, weekends that are part exhausting and part blissful, remind me that life is a mixed bag. When you're exhausted and feel like you can't take another second, something simply good can be right around the corner.