Thursday, April 5, 2012

Little Love

In the past two weeks Sabine has learned to ride her tricycle, been completely potty trained and has been accepted to preschool for the fall. Every time I tell her she will soon be going to school, I also tell her that I won't be there with her but that I will miss her and wish she was home with me. And each time, she answers, "No, mama. I need to go to school." That kid is like a bucket of cold water on my head, constantly shaking me out of any romantic notions of motherhood. She moves much faster through stages than I'd like her to. Sometimes I want to just keep her small and under my wing forever and ever.

My size has caused me to be much less patient with her and I feel guilty about it. When I'm driving us around and hoping for a mental moment to myself, I look through the rearview mirror and see her singing along to Prince. She says, "C'mon mama," so I will sing along with her and then I just melt. Or sometimes, in a display of affection, she holds my face in her hands and says, "I so prow uh you, mama. I uh you." (Translation: I'm so proud of you, mama. I love you.)

Even though I'm eight months pregnant and she weighs thirty pounds, I still pick her up when she asks, "Hold you me?" (Translation: Hold me?) And I plan on doing so for as long as I possibly can because I know a day is coming soon where she will either be too big to carry or too independent to want her mama to hold her anymore.

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