Friday, January 13, 2012

Mean Girls

Did anyone watch Rene Syler on Anderson Cooper the other day? It was a piece about how a new study has found that mothers who work outside of the home are much happier than moms who stay home with their children.

What struck me about it was how venomous all the moms were. Two of the working moms said they thought stay-at-home moms were lazy, lacked discipline, were escaping responsibility and didn't take care of themselves. I had to turn it off after this because I had too many things to do, plus I was hugely frustrated by it (I taped it for when I have more tolerance). So I didn't see how the at-home moms replied but I do know that some more passionate at-home moms think working moms are, in essence, abandoning their children.

Oh the venom! I cannot figure out why people care so much what the other side has chosen. Maybe they're trying to feel better about themselves and their choices? As a stay-at-home mom for now, I have good days where I'm productive, satisfied and happy and other days where I'm less productive, exhausted or bored.

I have lots of friends who work because they have to. I have some friends who work because they believe it makes them a better mother. And I have plenty of friends who stay home and feel the same way I do: There are good days and bad days--which is pretty much how I felt or operated when I had a traditional job.

Ugh. My point is, everybody does what they have to or what they think is right or what's right for them. It would be awesome if there was far less judgement all around.

via Observando.net

6 comments:

Leslie said...

I didn't see the show. This is such a heated debate always. As a Mom of three kids, I can just feel the judgement coming from Moms who work full time. But maybe I'm just imagining it. I don't know. And I do questions those Moms who hardly see their kids because they work 60 hr weeks - by choice. I don't understand that. I know that's their choice and it's not my business. But I'm human and I can't help but compare myself to others. I think that's what's going on. We are all trying to figure out if we are doing the right thing, making the right choice between mothering and career. Comparing everyone with each other. I think it's human.

Nancy said...

Oooh..I gotta find this segment online and watch it! Will let you know my comments soon!

Nancy said...

Sorry, my previous comment sounded like I needed to hear validation from these mean girls! I meant that I wanted to watch it and then give you my piece of mind. Career and parenthood is always going to be a debate among women. And people are going to say whatever makes them feel good about themselves.

Nancy said...

OK, I couldn't find a full episode for the life of me but did manage to catch bits and pieces of it. I think the show chose extremes in both cases (well no duh for ratings). What about the mom that works from home or works at night and stays with the kids during the day?

Laura Mauk said...

@Nancy, I know, right? That woman is doing both. Again, the intensity of these women's opinions astounded me. I can see being a little defensive but geeesh.

Anonymous said...

mmm, I may be a bit self-involved, but really do I care what others do? I stay at home because, honestly, I wasn't working before. But if folks want to/have to work - then there it is. If they want to stay-at-home. Kudos. I'm more judgmental about other issues like breastfeeding or elective c-sectons. But honestly to each his own. This is just another ratings generator like the manufactureed controversies on Fox and MSNBC.

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