Water Baby

zadie's first swim. (Palm Springs. April, 2013, one week before moving to Baltimore.)

Fading

This face. She's everything.

Remember when things were so bright, beautiful and new that you didn't want to go to sleep, not even for one second? You'd fight to keep your eyes open so that you wouldn't miss a single color, moment, feeling, adventure or tiny slice of life. You were right on the edge of a first something all the time. And no matter how heavy your eyelids felt, you fought as hard as you could to keep them open. 

And then one day, you stopped fighting so hard because you'd seen a lot and things weren't as bright or new anymore. Some days, you couldn't wait to close your eyes.

Zadie is a fighter. And on this day, she lost. But I won like I win every day with her. Because I get to watch her fight to stay awake for everything that's old to me. It's new to her and is new to me again because of her. 

Lucky me.

Isabel Marant for H&M

This is happening TOMORROW. The collection will be available in select stores and online (www.hm.com/Isabel-Marant‎), beginning at noon EST. Get your strategy on by checking out the entire line and knowing what you want before you shop: http://torontolife.com/style/toronto-shopping/2013/11/11/isabel-marant-for-hm/. Because what's better than looking like a French hippie?

Chopped

My brave girl's first haircut (3 years of age). Not a single teardrop. The lollipop, toy cars and blow dryer helped a lot.

I look at these images and see such a quiet intensity. She's afraid and interested all at the same time. It makes me think about all of the things she will do for the first time. I brought this little being into the world and have watched her sprout from a series of cells into this--this person who is seeing and feeling almost everything for the very first time. She's a bunch of nerve endings with arms and legs. I want to shield her with superhero powers I don't have.  I want to cup her excitement and tame her fear. But I can't. All I can do is watch. I'll take that though.

There aren't enough hours in the day for me to lay side by side, cheek by cheek with her while she strokes my hair the way she does. Pretty soon the days where she can fit on my lap and pet my head with zero self consciousness will be gone. Just like her first curls.