She's lost in thought and some golden leaves. I'm lost in how cool her little outfit is and wanting to know what's inside her beautiful and tiny mind.
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
Right Here, Right Now
today it was just us: mama, sabine and zadie. our visitors had gone home and sabine chose to stay in instead of going to the library or the indoor park, one of her most favorite places.
we made a pink cake with white frosting and rainbow sprinkles. sabine asked to work on writing her letters. we played chase and tag and i gave two little girlies lots of horse-y rides and hugs. sabine made a collage with striped tape, red ribbon and marker and drew a picture of me and my mama and said, "so you can look at it every time you are sad and you miss her."
it has been the best day, filled with simple tasks, giggles, no stress and a huge amount of productive cuddling, laughing and listening to my girls. for the first time in awhile, i stopped feeling like i should be doing something other than enjoying their smallness. and for the first time in awhile, nothing is missing. if i don't over think my current existence, they are more than enough and so am i. they teach me to be present and that the grass is the greenest right here, right now.
sometimes i swear my mom, who fought so hard to stay alive, is whispering sweet somethings into their little heads. and they, in turn, show me how to forget all of the shitty stuff and the silly anxieties and just soak up all of these beautiful minutes we have together--minutes that will someday become faraway memories that i pine for.
we made a pink cake with white frosting and rainbow sprinkles. sabine asked to work on writing her letters. we played chase and tag and i gave two little girlies lots of horse-y rides and hugs. sabine made a collage with striped tape, red ribbon and marker and drew a picture of me and my mama and said, "so you can look at it every time you are sad and you miss her."
it has been the best day, filled with simple tasks, giggles, no stress and a huge amount of productive cuddling, laughing and listening to my girls. for the first time in awhile, i stopped feeling like i should be doing something other than enjoying their smallness. and for the first time in awhile, nothing is missing. if i don't over think my current existence, they are more than enough and so am i. they teach me to be present and that the grass is the greenest right here, right now.
sometimes i swear my mom, who fought so hard to stay alive, is whispering sweet somethings into their little heads. and they, in turn, show me how to forget all of the shitty stuff and the silly anxieties and just soak up all of these beautiful minutes we have together--minutes that will someday become faraway memories that i pine for.
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
REMAINING ZADIE
This little girl. She loves peek-a-boo and hiding. She hates clips or rubber bands or having anything at all in her curls. She has no idea she is only twenty months old. She doesn't know that even though she can climb up things, she doesn't know how to climb back down them yet. She doesn't care that snow is too cold without mittens until it's too late. She doesn't know that sand tastes horrible because the texture feels so nice--even in her mouth. She doesn't mind being dirty or having a leaf stuck to her butt. She doesn't have any idea that the woods (and the world) are a really big place for a tiny girl.
Zadie Luz, little light of mine, you make everyone and everything a lot brighter from the minute you wake up in the morning. I'm not sure what we--your dark-hearted mom, dad and sissy--did to deserve you.
Stay golden, my love.
Zadie Luz, little light of mine, you make everyone and everything a lot brighter from the minute you wake up in the morning. I'm not sure what we--your dark-hearted mom, dad and sissy--did to deserve you.
Stay golden, my love.
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